Sounds like you’ve been on a bad streak for a while Rattlesnake. Chalk it up to experience and it’ll turn around sooner than you think (if it hasn’t already). When you ask couples that have made it through at least a few decades together, they’ll often confirm that the 10 to 12 year threshold is a tough one to go through. If you do make it through, you can (with a little bit of work) pretty much make it for the rest of your life together.
And they’ll tell you too that it has to be true and honest love. And this may be a problem today with everything available, freedom, flavors, open concept society and however you want to look at it. People have been (and still are) staying as a couple where the relationship was (is) just OK but are more willing today to take their chances at finding a better fit (“the fit”). Which is great. Only they should be more honest and willing to part ways before jumping ship.
The old saying.. the grass is greener... ain't always the case. Many go off to seek something better, only to find out that what they had was just fine.
It almost seems inevitable as the months and years go by in a relationship to gravitate to that point. A short break can be a great thing. But it’s often too hard especially in this day and age to go back to the clunker when you can almost smell the interior of a brand new car (especially if the kids are grown up or if there are no kids involved). This reminds me of a great song from Chris DeBurgh:
Much more than this.
Sometimes the man in me gets restless,
I need to get away from you,
And spend some time with someone that i knew,
Just to see her for a night,
And in the candlelight,
To talk and remember early days;
Sometimes the woman in you is uneasy,
I can see it in your eyes,
Just like me you need to know
Can you still fly,
Can you still arouse the passions
Of another man,
And if you’d carry it through, what would i do?
It would take much more than this
To break a love so long in the making,
It would take much more than talk or dreams
To break so strong a foundation - more than this;
Sometimes the man in me gets lonely,
When i am away from you,
And in the darkness of another hotel room,
If there's someone in the night saying
"it's gonna be alright" to ease away the pain of missing you,
What can i do?
Actually, one of my brother and his wife are at their 39th year anniversary this year. Not bad at all.