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For his birthday I got my friend a telepathic abacus

It's the thought that counts
 

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Young Marco lived in a small Mediterranean village. His father was a baker with the reputation of making the most delicious items from the most unusual ingredients.
Early one spring morning, Marco was exploring the countryside after breakfast when he encountered a tree unknown to him with long brown pods hanging from its branches. Next to it, just outside its shade were some wonderfully aromatic bushy plants. Marco had a baking brainwave and raced home to tell his dad of his find!
Leading him by the hand, Marco tugged his indulging father back to the site of his arboreal discovery only to find empty holes where the vegetation had been uprooted and removed!
"But father I don't understand. They were right here and would have made the most delicious baking combination!"
Shaking his head sadly, the baker replied "oh Marco, it appears they were only the " figmint" of your imagination!
 

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I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.
 

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What do you say to a Llama that loves picnicking?




Alpaca lunch.
 
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My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a while full of water."

I know he means well.
 
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