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My girlfriend thought I'd never be able to make a car out of spaghetti… You should've seen her face when I drove pasta!
 

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There's a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language. We call him the Village Idiom.
 
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My friend Joe went on the Dolly Parton diet.

It made Joe Lean, Joe Lean, Joe Lean, Joe Lean.
 
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Everybody's protesting something.


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The Muppets teamed up with NASA to name a newly discovered celestial object.

Upon its first sighting, the Jim Henson Company issued a press release, "Comet the frog here."
 
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