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Discussion Starter #1
We've had a run of bass players over the past year or so that has left me disappointed.
Original bass player: re-developed substance abuse and pawned his gear for supporting that abuse: set him free

Replacement Bass player #1: great player, but poor attitude towards rehearsal, plus drummer did not like him.: Set him free

Current bass player: great 2nd singer, Terrible bandmate.
Makes the same mistakes in the same places during various songs, Micro manages sound system at gigs, Unless told to back off. I want set him free after our next show, unfortunately the drummer is his buddy, and does not want to do so.

So I've said, I can be set free, but either way, I'm done with conflicting with this guy. I don't need it, and it's not like we're an international touring act, we're simply a local bar band
 

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Venting your frustrations on here is better than lashing out at him for sure.

I know guys, some will say musicians especially, are not too big on the "talking" thing, but I'm sure a band meeting would help, if done the right way.
 

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Sounds like you are set either way. Best wishes with the next step.
 

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Venting your frustrations on here is better than lashing out at him for sure.

I know guys, some will say musicians especially, are not too big on the "talking" thing, but I'm sure a band meeting would help, if done the right way.
We've tryed to discuss it with him. But he responds with deflection, pointing out 1 off mistakes of others, and then "reputation" arguments which I don't get. Which is why my current frustration.

It's not like it's not easy to prove my statements, I record every show we do. I've actually tried to show him the video, and he does not want to see it.
 

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We're going through this in my current project. We just cut the cord with the drummer over personality issues. Good drummer, but can not be wrong about anything, nor take constructive criticism, and has to add big drama at every opportunity. The other 4 of us have very laid back personalities, the only problems with that are a) none of us are really salesmen to be active in the marketplace seeking out opportunities b) there's no real band leader, and I am more and more becoming convinced one is required. Always compromises.

DJ let me know if you start looking for a bass player.
 

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When I'm not in a band, I wish I was. And then when I am, I wonder why I wished I was. LOL

The sticker on my pedalboard is a reminder - I Get To Do This. That also reminds me that when the frustration gets to be too much, it's time to change to something I enjoy again.

My last project (the rockabilly thing) just stalled at the end of last year. One guy lost interest - but he didn't quit or anything, he just strung the rest of us out for a few months. So I'm on to bigger and better - more accurately, the same ol' same ol' - things. And having fun again. Sometimes, like the first statement, I want to run my own band. But right now I'm happy to be a part of someone else's. I just had to learn to give up the controls, for better and worse.
 

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We've tryed to discuss it with him. But he responds with deflection, pointing out 1 off mistakes of others, and then "reputation" arguments which I don't get. Which is why my current frustration.

It's not like it's not easy to prove my statements, I record every show we do. I've actually tried to show him the video, and he does not want to see it.
I wouldn't want to watch myself playing badly either.
 

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Years ago, we had a drummer who was a truly nice guy but every once in awhile he would play this drum beat that didn't fit the song and would throw us completely off. I mentioned this to him one night and things kind of changed after that and we didn't seem to have fun any more. A year later he passed away from cancer and from then on, those little trivial things didn't seem to matter as much to me any more. Don't sweat the little problems, it's not worth it.
 

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I try to argue with the trio + and it refuses to engage. So I program more and more tunes that are super fun to play.

In the last 10 years I've had the same motto.

I can do chief or Indian. I do a good Indian and listen to the chief and vice versa. I just need to know who the chief is.

I also like planned endings. Projects that have a defined end. That way there's no break up. It's just concluding
 

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I got some advise from a very good musician last year who told me that its better to find someone who is a nice person than an excellent musician. I find this to be very true. Best of luck.
I got something similar many years ago. Hire someone with a good attitude. You can teach that person. The person with a bad attitude knows everything already (in his own mind) and you can't teach him anything.
 
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Also i thought this was about bandmates in poor finances haha.
This has been the demise of most the bands and projects I've been in. Was tired of being the only one able to afford rehearsal spaces, equipment,, PA and didn't have my gear in the pawn shop every two weeks etc. Not to mention a vehicle to lug our gear around. Then on the flip side, I've met guys with ridiculously expensive gear still living in moms basement that call themselves 'pro' but don't want to learn songs properly or play as a band or unit.

My buddy has been in a band with broke dirtbag metal heads for about 5 years. I really don't know how he puts up with it. Getting off work at 6, picking up uhaul trailers, driving hours to play, then doing all the driving back as nobody else has a license (except to drink). At lease his bandmates arn't complete jerks though.

Ever since buying a house and having a kid I've given up on constant compromise so I'm way more selective when I get involved with any band.
 

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It's been a year and a half now since I disbanded my band of 3 years due to differences between me and the singer who also happens to be my co-songrwriter. I've been tempted once in a while to contact them (meaning her and the drummer who also happened to be her husband) but when I think about what I have to deal with, I just couldn't do it. So in the last 4-5 months I've been trying to form another one with a bass player and keys/guitar. I have contacted more than 5 singers now since then. But for various reasons, they back out or realize after that they cannot make the commitment. Some are really good, some are just okay. But I keep on plugging away, letting the 2 other guys know that I am continuing this until we find a suitable singer, meaning someone who can do the job and be committed to it and hopefully doesn't have the diva attitude which seems to afflict front persons.

I can understand the frustration. But when personalities clash, most times you end up with no choice but to leave or start all over. I've been in bands where I am the band leader and times when I'm not. I've learned to defer having been playing with different bands all through the years. But one thing I learned for sure, 90% of the time, you need someone to be the leader.
 

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I look for personalities before anything else now because that will make your band click as a unit.
I learned that the hard way! I don't have time these shenanigans. I got so tired of it! I have had 3 people that just had to be shown the door because of their poor work ethics. If they don't want to dance to the beat of our drum. You know how that saying goes.
 
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