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Anyone ever walk into a job interview and sit down after shaking their hands and close your eyes and fart as hard as you can and then say “look man.. I fuckin lied.. I already have a job.. I just wanted to come here to tell you that I love this restaurant and I am so happy that you got Pibb on tap now.. been waiting my entire life to enjoy a fake Dr.Pepper with my Baconator”.
 

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Anyone ever walk into a job interview and sit down after shaking their hands and close your eyes and fart as hard as you can and then say “look man.. I fuckin lied.. I already have a job.. I just wanted to come here to tell you that I love this restaurant and I am so happy that you got Pibb on tap now.. been waiting my entire life to enjoy a fake Dr.Pepper with my Baconator”.
No, but I've always wanted to do an interview wearing an old school hockey helmet covered in tinfoil, and play it straight.
 

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No, but I've always wanted to do an interview wearing an old school hockey helmet covered in tinfoil, and play it straight.
Tell them “I’m so happy that this place hasn’t been infiltrated Klingons.. I was at Walmart for 3 months before the took over.. they have axe fights in the staffroom”
 

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I had a guy come in for an interview in slippers and pyjamas.


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I worked with a kid like that a couple of summers ago. I would show up in the morning in the work truck and sit in his moms kitchen and drink tea with her and absolutely lay on the charm. Side note (she was a very nice and a very chesty woman).

He was like “dude.. don’t hit on my FUCKING mom”

And I said “if you’d wake up on time and be ready at the end of your driveway or weren’t so weird and skinny and high all the time, you’d be able to enforce that demand”.
 

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