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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
That is what Robin Williams said before he died. He was surrounded by people, but lonely.
I am at that point. My wife is border-line evil with her passive aggressive abuse.
Impossible to deal with.

Kids are older, and really don't need me.

I have not one single person in this world I can call if I need a friend.

No family, no buddies. Kind of sad, but Vadsy is probably my best friend in the whole world as he actually acknowledges my existence,

I love my kids so much it that it makes me ill, but they just don't need me anymore other than a cook or taxi driver.
Sorry to be a bummer, but my dog Charlie died today and I realize I probably have the most boring life on the planet.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Poor Charlie..he was such an awesome dog. Talk about bad timing.
It sucks as we are struggling financially so moving out is not an option.
Just one more nail in my coffin.
I am such a morbid guy, I can't help but think, when I die, there will only be 5 people at my funeral.

Dog breed Dog Canidae Nose Snout
 

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I think most ppl would be surprised how many ppl would miss them if they died.
I found out last year that a guy I used to ride dirt bikes with committed suicide. We drifted apart...didn’t ride much anymore, I had a kid, he got a gf, usual stuff... but I always thought we’d reconnect. I was pretty shook up when I heard the news even though it happened a few yrs earlier.
Lee would have done anything for anyone, and in his time of need deserved the same. I only wish he’d picked up the phone and called.

If your wife is toxic, check out for awhile...don’t hang around the house and feed her energy. Show her your life doesn’t revolve around her. Get a gym membership, or go see how many funny movies you can see in a week, or something and clear out. You’re going through a midlife crisis, and loss of a pet....Robin Williams was a mental train wreck.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
According to the chart the vet had. Charlie was over 100 years old. (12 years old and over 100 pounds).
Man, you never met a sweeter dog in your life.
He was a master escape artist. He would go for long walks all by himself. If we left the front door slightly open, unlatched, (Three young kids) he was gone.
The local cops liked him and would bring him home with a smile and no complaints.
I just can't leave as my daughter's would be heartbroken.

Dog Canidae Sporting Group Dog breed Carnivore
Canidae Dog Dog breed Carnivore Guard dog
 

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Jim: I am so sorry to hear about your dog. He looks like a very sweet dog. I and my wife have shed many tears over the ones we have had die over the years. We get so close to them, don't we?

It is true that people can be surrounded by others and still be lonely. My wife and I have many friends and a large family on my side but her illness often prevents her from socializing as much as she (and I) would like to and from time to time she tells me she is lonely.

It is a world-wide problem that many have to deal with for a variety of reasons. I looked up a series of articles that deal with the various situations that lead to being lonely and they discuss them and give some practical advice from experts in this field and suggestions how a person can better cope with this situation. I hope you find it helpful in dealing with your situation. Loneliness in a World of Mass Connection

PS:I will be going past your home (or close by) on Thursday night or Friday morning. Would you like to meet for a coffee? PM me if the timing works for you and I'll give you my cell number. We can have a quick chat about dogs, family and Martin 00-18's.
 

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Sorry about your dog. Man. that hurts. Sorry too that your personal situation is less than ideal for you. You might need to talk it out with someone, even if you have to hire a pro. 20 years ago I left work on a stress leave (and never returned) and had several sessions with a psychologist. Maybe I got lucky, but it helped. My wife didn't join me for those sessions, but you might find it useful later to include yours. In any event, it's not helpful to let things fester.

Shared exercise, walks together, gardening, for example, can redirect some energy and provide time to talk. If not shared, solo exercise is still good. Diet and a review of medication can be beneficial too.

Your kids do need you. Parental presence, existence, is a steadying and reassuring force in people's lives. My kids are in their 20s and 30s and appear like they don't need me because we raised them to be self-sufficient, but emotionally we're still attached.

I *think* I can't live without a dog and often say I relate better to dogs than to humans. Get a dog again. They make you focus, exercise, laugh, love, and when they're gone, after the hurt has passed, they give you amazing memories. Rescue one and you'll be mutually invested, but however you get one, get one.

In the meantime, check in here. One of the best things about this place is how we can unload without judgement, and count on free support.
 

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What Buddha said. Seek professional help, my friend. These here forums are great for many things. Not what’s eating at you now. Professional help is there for you, available and capable of great benefit.

My oldest daughter is a Psychotherapist and she, and so many in her field, provide life-changing help to folks in similar circumstances as yourself, your wife and kids too. Don’t do this alone. You, and your family, will be glad you did.
 

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Sorry to hear Charlie has passed and I would also encourage you to find a therapist. Depression is a slippery slope my friend, and I know that slope all to well. The good thing is there are tools available to help navigate it.

Be well and feel free to PM me with any questions or hesitations you may have re therapy or meds or coping mechanisms.

Josh.
 

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I'm also sorry to hear that your life is not going as hoped and would echo the suggestion that you talk to a professional. If you can't afford it, most churches can connect you with professional councillors. Also you can search for support groups in your community. "Celebrate Recovery" is a large organization that I am familiar with and they offer support to anyone who needs it - they seem to be the "gold standard" among support groups in our community but look around - there are lots of hurting people out there and there is help available to those who seek it.
 

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I love my dogs and I know it's going to suck when they succumb to whatever it is that will send them into the next life. What you are feeling is not abnormal, when we lose something dear to us, we sometimes question why we are still here and what value do we have to anyone. Having a non-supportive wife isn't helping. I agree with what the others are saying, seek some professional support. No shame in that, life is hard.
 

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I wish I could find the words to help you through this time. I'm a quiet person who found social connections through work but that ended with retirement so I can understand the loneliness. I too am fortunate to have a great dog who is my best buddy but having lost another just over a year ago I understand that void. People here are keeping you in their thoughts so know you are valued beyond your family. Maybe consider another dog who would be lucky to have you as a new best buddy?
 
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Ahhh bud, sorry about Charlie.
If you need, reach out. Me & most of the gang here are, quite honestly, some good people.
Pm me, I’ll give you my number, I’ll have a virtual coffee/ chat about gear anytime.
When my Maggie (beautiful 12 year old lab) passed on, a friend of mine sent me this.
I hope it helps.
Cartoon Text Comics Organism Line art
 

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It is so easy to forget what made us grateful to be together once upon a time, and think only of what disappoints us and drives us apart right now.

Not that recapturing or remembering the gratitude is easy, but it IS important. Reminisence has been found to be one of the great buffers of stress in later life. Of course, it has to be the sort of reminiscence that focuses on things to be grateful for, and instances where challenges were overcome.

For now, get a big box of tissues and put "Seasons in the Sun" on repeat.
 

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Well, sad to learn you lost your daily companion.
While reading your note, I read my own situation. Wife not always easy to deal with, kids are working and caring for their own family. No real close friend, only golf partners of the day. But that's the way I was grown, you know. My parents had no time left for friendship. Well, we had bigger families and more relatives to get in touch with then. That's no longer the way it goes. Don't we have our music ? I do.
When I met my wife, she had two siamese cats. The non dominant adopted me right away. He died ten years later : heart breaking. The dominant left the year after, and painful it was and still is to my wife.
I once heard kids are not ours, we are deemed to love and grow them and let them go later on, hoping we did alright. Then, we can just visit them once in a while or invite them for dinner and play on the ground with their own kids. It is absolutely incredible how kids love to be run after by a slow grand'pa or find it comic when grand'pa fall back on his butts !
For the rest, such is life and there is nothing we can do about it except find our own way. And if we happen to see no light, we have to seek help from friends, relatives and/or professionals. You went on a positive way when you decided to share the sadness you live with fellow musicians, so I am confident you will find some light again. Why not have a drink while listening to your favorite music ? Just take a moment to visit your kids for half an hour ? Take care.
 

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Ahhh bud, sorry about Charlie.
If you need, reach out. Me & most of the gang here are, quite honestly, some good people.
Pm me, I’ll give you my number, I’ll have a virtual coffee/ chat about gear anytime.
When my Maggie (beautiful 12 year old lab) passed on, a friend of mine sent me this.
I hope it helps.
View attachment 212441
Thanks for this. My dog is skating on July ice at the rare old age for her breed, of 16 years, but it feels like we're going to have to make a decision very soon. I wish she didn't have such a love for life and would go in her sleep peacefully.
 
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