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These are some things ive found on bexes, containers, bags and more:
On a sears hair dryer: Instructions: do not use while sleeping
On a fortino's bag: You could be a winner no purchus needed
On frozen dinners: Instructions: defrost
On spensers bread pudding: product will be hot after heating
On an iron package box: instructions: do not iron cloths while on body
On childrens cough meds:do not drive or operate machinery after taking this
On Nytol sleepaid: may cause droozieness
On salbury penuts: Contins penuts or traces of other penuts
On a chainsaw pack: do not attempt to stop chain with hands
 

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I was always told in my many training course on how to train and instruct people, that you instruct to the lowest level of comprehension. In this way nobody gets missed. I assume this is the logic being used here. Maybe all that nonsense protects them against lawsuits as well.
 

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The Guardian on Paris Hilton:
(abridged)

You read her CV and boggle at what wildly improbable occupation she
might turn her hand to next. Spot-welding? Cognitive neuropsychology?

Alas, no: it's singing. Lest one carp, Hilton has been quick to point
out that singing is a vocation for which she is eminently skilled. "I
know music," she reassured the Sunday Times children's section. "I
hear it every single day."

While this obviously gives Hilton a massive advantage over those who
have never heard any music and thus believe it to be a variety of
cheese, there remains the nagging suspicion that this might not
represent sufficient qualification for a career as a singer, in much
the same way as knowing what a child is does not fully equip you for a
career as a consultant paediatrician.

But as Turn It Up cranks into life, you realise why Hilton felt it
necessary to confirm to the Sunday Times that she knew what music was.
She sings like a woman who has heard of something called singing,
can't be sure of exactly what it might entail, but is fairly certain
you do something a bit like this. She sounds both distracted and bored
stiff, as if making an album is keeping her from the more serious
business of standing around a nightclub in a pair of really enormous
sunglasses.

On Stars Are Blind, the combination of tinny cod-reggae and
your-call-is-being-held-in-a-queue vocal technique results in
something so plasticky, it's perversely enjoyable. Elsewhere, Hilton's
audible lack of interest torpedoes her own chances. Someone has
encouraged her to make erotically charged squeals of affirmation and
panting noises, with deleterious results. "Yah! Uh-huh-huh! Yah!" she
huffs, like a Sloane Ranger having an asthma attack.

Listening to her sing Rod Stewart's Do Ya Think I'm Sexy, you are
gripped by the fear that civilisation as we know it is doomed and that
brimstone is going to start raining from the sky any minute. It
doesn't, but a sense of terrible foreboding is further stoked by the
sleeve notes, which make reference to "all my albums to come".
 

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On Yamaha personal water craft (jet skis) there is a label warning that serious injury can occur if the jet is directed into body orifii or cavities.



Who the F%^k tried THAT the first time?
 

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^^
i learned that the hard way:tongue:
 

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GuitarsCanada said:
Maybe all that nonsense protects them against lawsuits as well.
I figure in this day and age, the companies have been sued over something to do with every one of those warnings, so they have to put them on there.
 

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Milkman said:
LOL, inflated you like a weather baloon eh?
i called my doctor and told him i didn't need a colonoscopy this year.:eek:
 

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So what if they put that? It doesnt mean most people are stupid. They just dont want to get sued by that small minority who are that stupid. Come to think of it, the majority are stupid...:cool:
 

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SnowBlind said:
So what if they put that? It doesnt mean most people are stupid. They just dont want to get sued by that small minority who are that stupid. Come to think of it, the majority are stupid...:cool:
I think they put it there for our friends to the south. They sue people because they slip on the ice that's on somebody's doorstep.
 

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SnowBlind said:
So what if they put that? It doesnt mean most people are stupid. They just dont want to get sued by that small minority who are that stupid. Come to think of it, the majority are stupid...:cool:
I think they put it there for our friends to the south. They sue people because they slip on the ice that's on somebody's doorstep.
 

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SnowBlind said:
So what if they put that? It doesnt mean most people are stupid. They just dont want to get sued by that small minority who are that stupid. Come to think of it, the majority are stupid...:cool:
I think they put it there for our friends to the south. They sue people because they slip on the ice that's on somebody's doorstep.
 

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^^F*** I HATE INTERNET EXPLORER:mad:
 
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