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Why don't you suggest some acupuncture as an adjunct to the pain medicine,...with salad forks!!
But I can understand why he'd prefer to skimp on morphine. Some of it may well be a "guy thing" ("I don't need no stinking pain meds!"), but some folks simply prefer to remain mentally sharp, even if it makes them a P.I.T.A. while doing so.
accupuncture for healing is a great idea, after the surgery. it is the reason i can walk, and climb a ladder. before accupuncture i needed a walker to go from the couch to the toilet..


I remember as a kid, some adults would say: "little boys should be seen and not heard"...and later in life it was: "how can we have a relationship, if you don't tell me your feelings"...there's a knack to life.
i remember being a kid, and i got whacked for something, i don't remember what. i started crying, i was probably 4 maybe 5. i was wearing my cowboy hat, and my plastic vest with the plastic sherriff's star, and my cap guns. my dad took me to the mirror in the bathroom. he said "look at your face right now. you ever see john wayne look like that? cowboys don't cry!" well, i wasn't gonna look like a sissy to john wayne. i sucked it up and stopped crying. after that, anytime i ever felt like crying, i told myself cowboys don't cry.

i know lots of men see those articles in the media that say women want sensitive guys who can show their feelings.
bull-shit. if you want to be single, just look vulnerable in front of your spouse. women want a man who's decisive and strong. no woman wants a cry baby. not even the pink haired woke ones.
 

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EVERYBODY wants someone who is decisive and strong. Men roll their eyes at female crybabies just as much as women might roll their eyes at weepy men. And AFAIC, the sexiest thing on a woman is self-confidence.

It's a balance thing. Self-confidence, courage, and resilience are wonderful attributes, no matter who has them. Similarly, sensitivity, capacity for intimacy, and honesty are also wonderful attributes, no matter who has them. Too much of the one in the absence of the other is no pleasure.
 

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Wow, they just grew that way?
my feet are the opposite..I can barely wear flip flops bc of the thing that goes between the toes barely fits. You could park a jumbo jet between your husbands.
 
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EVERYBODY wants someone who is decisive and strong. Men roll their eyes at female crybabies just as much as women might roll their eyes at weepy men. And AFAIC, the sexiest thing on a woman is self-confidence.

It's a balance thing. Self-confidence, courage, and resilience are wonderful attributes, no matter who has them. Similarly, sensitivity, capacity for intimacy, and honesty are also wonderful attributes, no matter who has them. Too much of the one in the absence of the other is no pleasure.
i don't disagree, it just wasn't germane to my response. i just took it as understood.
 

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This is the latest challenge in my life!

View attachment 384442


These are my hubby’s feet. For the past 5 years or so my husband has been complaining about his feet and how much pain he was in.
He finally got to see the Orthopaedic surgeon after a 2 year wait. Btw he had NO diseases such as Osteoporosis or any bone issues. This mystified his specialist. He’s never seen feet in this kind of deteriorated shape!
I had another look at those x-rays and find it hard to believe that the experts can't come up with a reason this is happening. They should have a team of experts trying to figure this out. Is there a chance his feet were always like that and just started bothering him when he got older? When did this start happening? Has it only been 5 years since this really start bothering him? Lots of questions. If it were me, I would need a better reason other than "This mystified his specialist. He’s never seen feet in this kind of deteriorated shape!"
 

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Discussion Starter · #48 ·
I had another look at those x-rays and find it hard to believe that the experts can't come up with a reason this is happening. They should have a team of experts trying to figure this out. Is there a chance his feet were always like that and just started bothering him when he got older? When did this start happening? Has it only been 5 years since this really start bothering him? Lots of questions. If it were me, I would need a better reason other than "This mystified his specialist. He’s never seen feet in this kind of deteriorated shape!"
They did every known test. This has all happened within the last 5 years. His feet were never this bad.

You’ve got a top notch orthopaedic surgeon telling you he hasn’t a clue as to why this is happening. Do you call him a liar?
 

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They did every known test. This has all happened within the last 5 years. His feet were never this bad. And it’s true he has never seen feet like this.

You’ve got a top notch orthopaedic surgeon telling you he hasn’t a clue as to why this is happening. Do you call him a liar?
People are trying to offer encouragement and letting you vent. No need to be defensive.
 

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I wouldn't mind saying so to elicit a better response.
i think your underlying statement is worth noting. often times, doctors will give you short answers or very little clarity on something. it seems like they do it because they don't expect you to understand them, but there could be other reasons. i've run into this several times.
 

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I'm so sorry you two are going through this. I can't imagine how sore his feet must have been walking around on those twisted bones. It's good of you to be there to give him a leg up.
 

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i think your underlying statement is worth noting. often times, doctors will give you short answers or very little clarity on something. it seems like they do it because they don't expect you to understand them, but there could be other reasons. i've run into this several times.
That's why I keep telling people that, as important a skill as "critical thinking" is to encourage at higher levels in the educational system, "explanatory skill" is equally important. Understanding something yourself, without being able to assist others depending on that knowledge to understand it themselves, is simply insufficient. Every health professional is going to depend on their patient collaborating on successful treatment with them. We can't do that if we don't understand, and we can't understand if you don't explain well.
 

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I am very curious and knowing what’s going on with my husbands situation is paramount. I think as a responsible patient the onus is on you to help educate yourself.
i agree that one should educate themselves regarding their ailments. but i don't think that absolves the doctor of his responsibility to be transparent. he works for you, not the other way around. you are paying for his expertise, he's not doing you a favor.
 

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Discussion Starter · #60 ·
i agree that one should educate themselves regarding their ailments. but i don't think that absolves the doctor of his responsibility to be transparent. he works for you, not the other way around. you are paying for his expertise, he's not doing you a favor.
Of course I agree that it does not exonerate the doctor of his responsibilities to be transparent. I try to educate myself on all health issues as well as my husband. Educating oneself is power.
 
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