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I've been dealing with angry, stupid or lazy people all week and need a laugh. Who's got some good Chuck Norris Jokes?

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he's the only guy who can slam a revolving door.
he's counted to infinity, twice
he can hear sign language
he's the reason waldo is hiding
he's the only guy who can punch a cyclops between the eye
he can make fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together
he can do a wheelie on a unicycle
 

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Discussion Starter #13

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These are great! I got nuttin' to add but please, keep 'em coming.
 

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A couple of my favorites:
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

When Chick Norris jumps into the water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris'd.

Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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I was in college a decade ago when this was at its peak, so I could go all day. Lol.
 

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You're right and potentially wrong. When CN jokes hit their peak a few years back, we did a big family trip and brought along a book of "Chuck Norris facts". Quite likely that many of the ones in the top 100 list were in the book, that was read to me by cackling family members in the back seat. After the first 300 or so, they all start to sound like you've heard them before. That doesn't stop them from being funny, though. :)
 
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