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I posted this on r/guitar earlier today and people seemed to take a liking to it.

Let's hear em!
 

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Mad Strappier
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Most likely way for a musician to feed a family of four?
Delivering for Dominos
 

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The difference between a banjo and a trampoline is that you take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline!....what do you call 100 banjos at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! My apologies to banjo players everywhere..lol
 

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Oh...and how can you tell when a drummers throne is level? The drool comes out of both sides of his mouth!
 
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How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
10

One to actually change the lightbulb and 9 to say that they could have done it better


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

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How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?... 10...one to screw it in and 9 to stand around and complain that it is electric:(
 
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Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.

Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
A: For fingering A minor.

Q: How do you get a million dollars?
A: Start off with 2 million and try to make a living playing the guitar.

Q: What do you call a successful guitarist?
A: A guy whose wife has 2 jobs.

Q: Why do guitarists tour the most in the summer?
A: So they can visit all their kids.

Q: What's the difference between a guitarist and god?
A: god doesn't think he's a guitarist.
 

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What do you throw a drowning Bass Player/Guitarist?
His Amp.

Why can't the singer come in the house?
He Can't find the key and is not sure when to come in.

How do you tell when a drummer is knocking at your door?
The Knocking speeds up

Why is a drummer's brain so valuable to transplant doctors?
It's never been used.

What's the difference between Lemmy and God
NONE LEMMY IS GOD!!
 
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