band problems need help

[Macank]

alright heres myy story, im the guitarist of my band, and my bassit always puts me down, saying that i suck at guitar all the time, and that hes always better than me at everything, at music,at guitar, at singing, (even though he cant sing) hes the bassit of the band, and hes like this, he has to be the best at everything even though hes been playing bass for about 2 years. He also does the same to my drummer in the band. But for the singer/guitarist in my band he doesnt say anything because hes good. For me im a decent guitarist, not the best, but decent...im just so fed up with my bassit, what do you guys think?

[voxworld]

Music's a team sport and must be played with that in mind if you want to be bigger than what three or four slugs can accomplish on their own.
Bad attitude is such a drag and will definitely sink the band eventually.
My opinion is you need to decide whether this guys bad attitude is worth swallowing for the sake of the band if he's that frickin' stupendous, or if you should bring this up with the other members and see where they stand.
Could mean you lose a job, but these things never get better until one or both of you go away.
Even if the guys a superstar in the making, he can't do it by himself. A jackass will burn all bridges as he goes, so my thought is put your head down and keep swinging. Be the best you can be, take care of your parts, be sharp always and keep your ears open. Leave lots of room for the other players to move around in the song and pick your spots to shine.
Guys with too much arrogant attitude always feel the need to be front and center all the time and leave no space for anyone else, this gets exposed very quickly and isn't what real music is all about.
If your band doesn't see this then your better off moving on IMNSHO.
Only my two cents of course...

[ajcoholic]

in one sentance.... GET RID OF HIM.

In my band (I am the lead guitar, and only singer - and I basically choose what songs we play) I am very encouraging to the other members (our drummer is awesome, the bass player is very good but our other guitar player (a long time friend of mine) is on the weaker side. But I would never rag on him, he is getting better with time and I try and help him out, encourage him to practice and try and get together for private lessons (outside of the group) to teach him the parts.

If there is an ego issue, or power struggle it just makes a fun thing suck. Suck big time...

Gte a new bass player who wants to be a team player.

AJC

[Macank]

^^^^well for me if i really am that weak of a guitarist, i always ask mym bassit for help, because he knows alot about theory because he played sax before. And i learn as much as i can, and im never ever good enough for him

[james on bass]

I'd lose him. If he's so good, and you guys suck so bad, why he is still with you? This guy sounds like an ass plain and simple. A good bass player is hard to come by, but music and bands are supposed to be fun, not a headache. You'll find someone else. Maybe someday he'll realize he's the reason he can't stay in a band.
I've been playing for fun in bands for 20 years. I've played with some smokin' players that were arrogant pricks, and while they have chops, they never stay with the same group of guys for very long. I'll take a room full of adequate but fun, friendly reliable guys any day over chops and a piss poor attitude.

[ajcoholic]

I'll take a room full of adequate but fun, friendly reliable guys any day over chops and a piss poor attitude.


Ding ding ding... we have a winner ! :)

Thats exactly what I think too.

AJC

[Milkman]

Who's the leader?

What does the singer think?


The answers to these two questions would be crucial to me in determining my tactics.



Team work only goes so far. Without a leader very little gets done and there's generally no direction.

I'm assuming there's no leader in your band or he would have put a stop to the negativity.


And for the record, I myself would prefer a room full of *******s who can really play over a room full of really great guys with mediocre skills. That's another benefit of having a leader. you can keep the personality issues at bay and go with the better players.

[ClintonHammond]

Fire him.... EVERYONE in ANY band is 100% replaceable...

[Milkman]

Fire him.... EVERYONE in ANY band is 100% replaceable...


Who has the authority to fire anyone if there's no leader?


For all we know the rest of the band may fire the guy who started the thread.

[dwagar]

^^^^well for me if i really am that weak of a guitarist, i always ask mym bassit for help

If you are always asking him for help, then he probably thinks you want him to get after you to help you get better.

I'd suggest if you aren't already taking lessons, go find some, practice your ass off, until there is nothing you need to ask him for.

[Marnacious]

What do the rest of the band members think of him? Sounds like it would be better for all if he goes, but I would make sure he knew why too. His attitude and lack of respect for others will not get him far.

[Sparks]

So your band is a 4-piece ensemble? I think you should think about turning into a power-trio, if you know what I mean. dump the bassist. All I can say. If I was in that situation, I would've shoved the bass up his ass. Hope you take my comment into consideration ;)

[mario]

Either get rid of him or move on. You don't need that kind of crap! It's supposed to be fun, not stressful.

[Sparks]

was the bassist one of the founding members of the band or was he one of the last people to join? Either way, he has no right to put his fellow bandmates down. Hell, he has no right to even be in a band. To be in a band is to have trust on one another, and to respect and appreciate everybody's abilites. If he thinks he's so good and everybody else sucks, then he should think about going into a solo career. Seriously, dump him.

[Macank]

If you are always asking him for help, then he probably thinks you want him to get after you to help you get better.

I'd suggest if you aren't already taking lessons, go find some, practice your ass off, until there is nothing you need to ask him for.
the only things i ask him are jazz questions because hes "pro at jazz" and i got into it for him to be happy. But my band plays like modern metal, and i dont ask him for help in this area


and sparks

he is a founding member, me and him were friends since gr.2 and we started a band in the 7th grade together

[Milkman]

Lots of knee jerk advice here.


Have you tried communicating with him? Remember it's a lot easier mending a fence than building a new one.

Something like "I appreciate the fact that you're a more experienced and maybe more skilled player than I am, but you putting me and others down all the time is not helpful and actually has a negative impact on my performance. Would you mind trying to be a little more constructive with your comments?"

[dwagar]

Couple of things:
- you guys have been friends a long time. Sit him down and tell him he's not helping with his attitude. This probably isn't something you have to break up the band over.
- back to what I mentioned above - practice your ass off. Get outside your normal style, learn everything you can. You'll pass his knowledge sooner than you think.

[ClintonHammond]

"Who has the authority to fire anyone if there's no leader?"

There must be ONE guy who calls 'rehearsal'... it's as easy as NOT calling this bassist jerk....

They're a dime a dozen.... dump him.... It's not worth the grief.... Music is SUPPOSED to be enjoyable...

[Sparks]

All I have to say is music is a team effort...

[Macank]

i will try talking to him, but for now we havent had a band practice for about a week, and if it happens again him putting me down then i will talk to him

[Vassago]

I hate to repeat what everyone has said but this is a 2 step process...

1. Talk to him and if he doesn't change then
2. Drop him or move on

and if you are the one looking for a new band, well it's not the end of the world... plenty of bands out there and hey, maybe you could try soloing.. worth a think. just my 2 cents worth