My wife just signed me up...should I be worried?

[Paul]

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Friday, October 23, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Classes begin Monday, December 03, 2007

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM .

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday noon , 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7 :00 PM .

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates
and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

[david henman]

...time to get your revenge: sign her up for parking 101, and ask her to use the words "woman driver" and "decisive" in the same sentence.

ah, the :sport-smiley-002:of the sexes continues!

-dh

[Starbuck]

Ha! I can parallel park my Husbands Dodge Ram 2500 ALL BY MYSELF! But where can I sign him up for those classes? :sport-smiley-002:

[simescan]

Be afraid Paul,.......be Very afraid!!!!!!!!!

[shoretyus]

I live in one of those modern households...

Women's courses needed...

The compost bucket is only one step away ....

The top of a Leslie is not a file cabinet....

Cleaning is not tossing into a box then on my ...

and drum roll

The floor of the car is not where you store your mail

[Renvas]

lol shouldent this be like common knowladge?


if u dont know this i dont see how u can live without your woman lol

[ClintonHammond]

It's my experience that there's no such thing as common knowledge....

It's a myth, like Santa Clause or Jesus....

[Hamm Guitars]

Can I sit in on class #7 with you?

[Paul]

Can I sit in on class #7 with you?

Only if I can find the room without needing class # 9.

Shouldn't they be the other way around?

[sysexguy]

Is she going to:

"What Clinton Did May Be Cheating, But Buying a New Guitar Does Not Count As Infidelity" 52 weeks, 4 hours Internet/night

??????:banana:

Andy

[ClintonHammond]

I didn't cheat!!

Oh... wait... THAT "Clinton".... Ya... -W-... like he was the first president to get his bone smootched in the oval office....

[Paul]

I didn't cheat!!

Oh... wait... THAT "Clinton".... Ya... -W-... like he was the first president to get his bone smootched in the oval office....

The hallway next to the Oval Office. He had some class, ya know!

[Steeler]

Continuing Education Courses for Women

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.

3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Don't Need New Shoes Daily.

4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.

5. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can wait Until After the Game.

6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.

8. Valuation: Just Because It's Not Important to You...

9. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, Not the First.

10. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.

11. Communication Skills III: Getting What You Want, Without Nagging.

12. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire.

13. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.

14. Water retention: Fact or Fat.

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter.

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not For Human Consumption.

17. Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.

19. PMS: Your Problem... Not His.

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To.

21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have.

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice.

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.

24. Ballet: For Women Only.

25. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both.

26. Learning to "Go" in Public Restrooms.

27. Appreciating the Humor of the Three Stooges.

28. "Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?" - Why Men Lie.

[ClintonHammond]

Wow... according to the posts above, I'm not a "man"

And judging by the things they seem to have problems with, I couldn't be happier!

[Hamm Guitars]

Then there is the old rulebook -

http://j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm

with further explanation here:
http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp

and the joke never to tell at your wife's Avon party:

Q: Why do Women wear purfume & make-up?

A: Because they are ugly and they stink!

Trust me, you won't get much millage out of that one.

[Starbuck]

Hmmm good one.. You guys are funny!

1. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

We don't know;
it has never happened



2.How does a man show that
he is planning for the future?


He buys two cases of beer.


3.Why are blonde jokes so short?

So that men can remember them.


4.Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

they don't stop and ask for directions


5. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?

They already have boyfriends.



6. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

They're married



7. Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.


:food-smiley-004:

[ClintonHammond]

What's the difference between a 'man' and a savings bond?
A savings bond matures.....

[david henman]

28. "Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?"


...i've often wondered if the study of oceanography makes my butt look big.

-dh

[Paul]

What's the difference between a 'man' and a savings bond?
A savings bond matures.....

...and eventually earns money!

[Ti-Ron]

And Cold War's back again! Hey Guys, we have to admit something

We can't live with them, but we can't live without them!

My dad always told me, if you want to be happy with your wife/girl or other female around you you have to get the abitlity of ignore them as good as they thing you listen to them. After that told her you really love her and everything will be fine. On the other way they will always told you that you are the worst person on earth but finally you died together. That how it goes!

I try to modernise that with my personnal theory, all girls are crazy and hysterical, but all boys are immature and irresponsible. We have to deal with it!

It's just my two cents and hopefully my girlfriend laugh of it! ;)

[laristotle]

When my wife's happy, I'm happy.
http://www.giveupalready.com/images/smilies/romeo.gif