Famous quotes

[bRian]

I thought this would be fun. Me first

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

[RIFF WRATH]

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

(fortune cookie)
cheers RIFF

[Ripper]

You like chinese food (out of a fortune cookie)

[Jeff Flowerday]

"Nobody will ever need more than 640k RAM!" -- Bill Gates, 1981 ... (http://www.anvari.org/fortune/Humorix_Misc/257.html)

[nine]

"I've made a huge mistake."

-just about every character on Arrested Development :tongue:

[nine]

Oh yeah, and that Mark Twain quote is probably my favourite of all time. I struggle with it every single day.

[sneakypete]

I`ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

[Hamm Guitars]

"Don't break the silence unless you can improve upon it"

I obviously don't take this one to heart.

[david henman]

...she said she really didn't want to talk about her bulimia, but it kept coming up.

-dh

[ronmac]

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Samuel Johnson 1709~1784

[nine]

Apparently bachelorhood didn't exist in Samuel Johnson's time. Poor bugger.

[Jim Jones]

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Frank Sinatra

[axestronomer]

.....You are only as old as the woman you feel....

Groucho Marx

[Kenmac]

Well seeing as how this is a Canadian forum here's an appropriate one:

"If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." - Red Green

[Lester B. Flat]

"The illiteracy level of our children are appalling".

"One of the great things about books is, sometimes there are some fantastic pictures".

-George W. Bush

[sneakypete]

what chu talkin` `bout Willis?

[Tarbender]

My favorite and one I try to live by:

" It wan't broken before I fixed it!"

[J S Moore]

"There's nothing wrong with you a little prozac and a croquet mallet couldn't fix"

Woody Allen

[jcon]

I`ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

I love that one! and I'll add:

Have a good time, all the time.
Viv Savage

[Robboman]

"My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute."

"May George Bush drink the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq!"

"I like to make sexy time!"

"My moustache still tastes of your testes!"

"Her vazhïn hang like sleeve of wizard's robe."


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443453/quotes

[zao_89]

"My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute."

"May George Bush drink the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq!"

"I like to make sexy time!"

"My moustache still tastes of your testes!"

"Her vazhïn hang like sleeve of wizard's robe."


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443453/quotes

"He is my neighbor Nushuktan Tulyiagby. He is pain in my *******s. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success! "

"My neighbor Nushuktan Tulyiagby is still *******s. I get iPod, he get iPod mini. Haha! Everyone know iPod mini for girls! "

[Schluppy]

Mark Twain is a never ending source of wisdom.

This is one of my favorites from the speech he gave on his 70th birthday (http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/railton/onstage/70bday1.html):

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome.

The speech is full of gems, like...

I have made it a rule to go to bed when there wasn't anybody left to sit up with; and I have made it a rule to get up when I had to.

and...

In the matter of diet -- which is another main thing -- I have been persistently strict in sticking to the things which didn't agree with me until one or the other of us got the best of it.

and ...

As for drinking, I have no rule about that. When the others drink I like to help, otherwise I remain dry, by habit and preference.

He's probably the most quotable American that has ever lived.

[JHarasym]

"I have seen the enemy, and they are us". - Pogo

[JHarasym]

A couple I hear regularly on the radio (Q107 - I know, the same 6 songs all day long):

"There's nothing quite as exhilarating as pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?" - origin unknown

"I sure picked the wrong day to quit amphetamines" - LLoyd Bridges in the movie "Airplane"

[searchin4signal]

"He is my neighbor Nushuktan Tulyiagby. He is pain in my *******s. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success! "

"My neighbor Nushuktan Tulyiagby is still *******s. I get iPod, he get iPod mini. Haha! Everyone know iPod mini for girls! "

"If I give you good price...will you please put in pussy magnet ?"
"Are you telling me the man who tried to put rubber fist in my Anoos was a homosexual?"
"Even though my Anoos was broken I knew that rest of our journey will be great success."
"What do I say if I have to go to the S***hole?"
"She is your wife? In my country they would go crazy for these two....her not so much."
"Do Jesus like my neighbour Nushuktan Tulyiagby ?"
"High five ! "

[zao_89]

*sigh* The teachings of Borat....

[lolligagger]

While we are on movies, I like these two...

"It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart"

and

"Woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man"


Ulyssess Everett McGill - O, Brother Where Art Thou?

[Gilliangirl]

"Woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man"




"And I found out a long time ago
what a woman can do to your soul
Ah, but she can't take you anyway
You don't already know how to go" - The Eagles! :tongue:

[Robert1950]

"I am not a Crook"

[lolligagger]

Here is a quote I think of everytime some poor soul makes a typo on a message board...there never seems to be a shortage of folks willing to point out the misteak and offer correctshuns.

"It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word."

- Andrew Jackson

[acdc54_caddy62]

I dont know who came up with this one but it's from the movie Friday and it's by Craigs daddy and it's a very good one I think lol

"You win some, You loose some but you live...live to fight another day"

Daniel

[Lester B. Flat]

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it." - Mark Twain

[Stratocaster]

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

- Einstein.